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Furbie123 Member posted : 11.07.2009
I am scared. I think I have depression. Basically my way of thinking is "what is the point of doing anything? It wont matter because we shall all die anyway." I only recently stopped self harming and I think i have alwayss felt like this but self harming preocuppied me. I have a heck of a lot of scars up my arm and whenever i look at them I feel scared. I have wasted 9 years of my life in sadness and that scares me more than dying does. I feel like a failure. Another thing, I went to a councilor weekly and I trusted him but I left my poem/diary behind and he read it and phoned social services and I am really nervous and I cant trust anyone. please help.
BullyBuster Administrator posted : 20.07.2009
Hi Furbie123, I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. I also feel bad that you feel that your councillor betrayed your trust by reading your diary and contacting Social Services, I do however feel sure that he would only have done this out of genuine concern for you. Do you feel that you could talk to an adult you trust about what is happening ?. I know that it is a lot to ask of you, but it is only by allowing someone to become aware of how you are feeling that someone is going to be able to support you. Do you have a nurse or doctor at your school who you could talk things over with ? If you want to, you could ring our helpline, Monday to Friday 3.00pm to 6.00pm and if you wished we could contact someone on your behalf, or give you information on places close to where you live who can possibly help. Please give someone another chance, I'm sure your councillor only did what he thought was best !! Our number is, 0800 169 6928.
Furbie123 Member posted : 24.07.2009
I just wish that I could get rid of these awful thoughts. I cry all the time and I try hard to stop my parents from seeing I already dissappointed them with my self-harming. I dont want them to worry about me more. I dont have a school nurse or doctor so i cant see them. I thought about going to our local doctors but dont know if Im allowed to go without an adult and even if I am then I dont know who to ask for or what to say. And I can't tell anyone because Im hurting enough as it is and I dont want another injury. I have also forgot to mension that I tried to commit suicide a few years back so I have not really had much of a good time. I am worried that it will affect my job offers in later life as the school had to deal with me. I dont think I could live with myself if I kept getting turned away at job because they thought I was mentally unstable. I just want this nightmare to end.
BullyBuster Administrator posted : 12.08.2009
Hi Furbie 123, It does sound as though things have been really tough for you and you have been really strong and brave to have come through so much. We here at BullyBusters would love to be able to offer you some support if you feel that you could trust us. I promise that we are all friendly and no one will bite !! Honest !! If we can, we would like to help ? Give us a call between 3.00pm and 6.00pm, on a Monday to Friday and one of our team will be able to offer you advice on agencies who can and will be able to help support you in your area.
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